how to choose bridesmaids

7 Rules on How to Choose Bridesmaids (and Groomsmen!)

When you have too many or too few girl friends, you tend to worry on how to choose bridesmaids for your big day. Since they will be a huge part of the wedding, you want to have the best bride squad.

how to choose bridesmaids

When choosing your bridesmaids, you have to consider your relationship with them, their availability, their willingness, and their financial capacity as well. Expect to have lots of changes, even heartbreaks during the selection process.

Now. let’s talk about these pointers one by one:

7 Rules on How to Choose Your Bridesmaids

how to choose bridesmaids without hurting feelings
Meet my gorgeous bride squad! Diane, Kat, Jen, Marj, Rooby Anne (MOH), me, She, and Kim 🙂

Take note that these pointers also apply when choosing the groom squad.

#1 You Can’t Imagine Your Wedding Day Without Them

Everyone in your bride squad should make you feel good during your big day. Seeing them brightens your day, and you know your wedding is not complete without them.

That’s how your bridesmaids make you feel, more than the wedding guests, these girls should bring out the best in you.

They are the girls closest to you, and they are usually the first ones you think of when you hear the term bridesmaids.

#2 Start With Your Family

Usually, when you and the groom-to-be have sisters, they are automatically part of the entourage. Since they are expected to be the closest persons to both of you.

Unless you have a valid reason not to include them.

With regards to the relatives, you are not obliged to make all your cousins your bridesmaids, too. Especially if you haven’t talked to them for a long a time, or worse, you haven’t met them yet.

#3 Your Bridesmaids Should be Reliable


During wedding planning until the big day, your bridesmaids will be the ones to provide you moral and emotional support. So make sure they would be there for you all throughout.

For the wedding planning, they should be willing to help you out when choosing wedding suppliers, give you suggestions, and make sure you are not stressed out.

Then on the wedding day, it would also be a long day for them to have pictorials, ceremony, and reception party. They would play a big role, and they have to do everything to make your wedding day successful.

#4 Consider their Availability

the budgetarian bride

Aside from your closeness and their reliability, you also need to check for their availability. Ask them if they would be willing to celebrate with you for at least a day.

I know you might be thinking that no one will decline your bridesmaids’ offer. But you’ll never know.

Personally, I had to change 2 of my bridesmaids due to work schedule. Then, another 2 bridesmaids because they got pregnant during the wedding planning stage.

It’s good that you have an initial list, but you also have to follow up on them every now and then.

#5 Evaluate their Current Situation

If you plan to ask your bridesmaids to shoulder the cost of their dress, you need to check their financial situations first. Or if you will ask them to shoulder the hair and makeup expenses, the transportation, plus the bridal shower, you need to evaluate them, too.

If your friend just lost her job, you need to be considerate with her.

Or if work responsibilities swamp her, and she’s aiming for a promotion, know that your wedding might not be her top priority. Just don’t be afraid to ask.

#6 Check their Personality

hoe to choose bridesmaids

After you found out how to choose bridesmaids, you will also need to consider individual personalities.

Will they be all good together? Or will there be personality clashes that can lead to wedding dramas?

You will need to take this into considerations as well.

#7 Be Fully Honest

When you want to ask your bridesmaids to shoulder the cost of their dress, or makeup, or accommodation, or transportation, you need to be honest upfront. Before you finalize their names on your wedding invitations.

It’s better to know everything before you print out wedding materials. Even if they turn you down because of the expenses that come with it, at least you know ahead of time. It’s better to ask than to assume.

The Budgetarian Bride

I hope this 7 rules on how to choose bridesmaids help you out on your wedding planning. Comment down your thoughts, I’d love to read them! 🙂

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14 thoughts on “7 Rules on How to Choose Bridesmaids (and Groomsmen!)

  1. Check, check, check. Ladies. I’m available to be your bridesmaid! I’ll be expecting my dress in the mail thanks! Hahaha, but yup, i super agree and you really have a lot to consider in choosing your bridesmaids. You have to trust them to support you so you wouldn’t have to worry about anything on your big day!

  2. This makes me want to make a list of bridesmaids for my future wedding! Hahaha! If the groom to be has one sister only then I think that’s okay. But if he has three, we need to negotiate. Hahaha!

  3. Ohhh, yes! The “availability” part is very important. I know a friend who was “chosen” to be a bridesmaid. And I was a bit shocked by the AMOUNT OF WORK she had to deal with, hahaha

  4. We had a civil wedding that is why I wasn’t able to experience having bridesmaids and groomsmen. But I was once a bridesmaid. And I really appreciate it everytime I was chosen by a friend or a family member. I feel that I am really realible.

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